Larry the Cable Guy : GIT-R-DONE!!! I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been on vacation with the wife and kids but now it's almost time to buckle down and hit the road again. Kids are great, but when they don't get something they want, they whine and throw temper tantrums. Kinda like my wife, only smaller. BADABING!

So for the last 5 weeks, I've been fishing, relatives and friends visiting for a pig roast, and tons of whiffle ball. It was a lot of fun but I'm anxious to get back to some shows. I had a friend of mine that was here all week with his wife... I'm always hesitant to have the kids around her because I feel bad because she can't have children. There's nothing medically wrong with her, she's just real ugly! (Thank you and goodnight!) Did anyone see the Vern Troyer sex tape on the internet? You know, the midget from the Austin Powers movies... It's hilarious! Now I know why they call him "Mini Me"! BING BONG! Actually, the tape's kinda boring because the first 50 minutes is him trying to reach the girls bra! (I could do this all day.) By the way, I found out yesterday that you can still get gas cheap at Waffle House! (I don't care who ya are that's funny.) Ok, enough of this crap, I have a few hings I need to tell ya.

1: My nuts itch!

2: We'll be taping an episode of "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?" in a few days with Jeff. I've been watching the show and practicing so it looks like my charity will have to do a bunch of car washes cause those questions are ridiculous! 5th grade my ass! Who uses the periodic table anymore? I don't know when it's gonna air but hopefully Jesus will come back before it does and save me some embareassment! Especially if they make me spell emberass... umm embarrassment!!So if the Lord tarries, tune in and watch the carnage. I'll keep ya posted. I do however know my ABD's so that's a good thing.

3: I hope ya'll are signing up for my fan club site (GitRDone.com). It's just now up and going and I'll be posting things on there that only fan club members have access to. I figure if you're a die hard fan I should show ya stuff no one else gets to see right? Since I was on vacation, I haven't had a chance to do much yet (with all the relatives and guests around), so now that they're gone I can get back to work and post some stuff. One of the videos I'm sending up to the site in a few days is the Toby Keith movie trailer "Big Dog Daddy and Possum Boy". I played Possum Boy and unless you went to a Toby Keith concert last Summer, you haven't seen this. My fan club site is the only place you'll get to see this I believe. Another video that's going up next week is when I took a couple of my cousins, my sister, my aunt, a couple friends, my tour manager, and Jerry Mathers as "The Beaver" out on the pontoon boat. A huge storm came outta nowhere and we thought we were gonna capsize. I swear, we couldn't see 2 feet in front of us and we were in 20 foot swells. (Alright, 1 foot swells but still...) I'll post more videos as time goes on so I hope ya sign up to the fan club site and check 'em out. Once it gets rolling, every now and then I'll come on and answer all your many questions or just hold court to get to know some of the fan club members. I really appreciate all of ya and I want this to be a fun place to go.

4: What's worse then tennis elbow? Golf balls!

5: We start shooting my Christmas special in Nashville in just a few days. I've got some great acts... Jay Leno, Jenna Elfman, (sorry Jenna, I hope I spelled your last name right) Jeff, Bill, Toby Keith, Montgomery Gentry, 2 Foor Fred, Tony Orlando of course, and tons more. The last one was huge success and I think this one will top it. Thanks to everyone who's getting in on this huge star studded Christmas in July Extravaganza!

6: I saw this on a shirt and thought it was hilarious. "You know your getting older when your pants start fitting to tight around your armpits!"

7: Daryl Singletary is an unbelievable traditional country singing talent and he needs to be famous for it.

8: I saw a magazine that said, "You can tell a lot about a man by looking at his underwear". If that the case, then here's what you can tell about me... I ran out of toilet paper.

9 and final: My new re-designed web site will be up in about a month or so. I know it's taking a while to get it right but it'll match my fan club site (GitRDone.com) and the MySpace page (MySpace.com/LarryTheCableGuy). I'm all about matching. Notice how every hat I wear matches my sleeveless shirt perfectly? I'm not bragging, I'm just sayin'.

Ok thats it. I'll talk to ya next week after the filmings are over with. Thanks for being fans and in the words of one of my favorite songs from when I was a kid, "Keep the bugs off your bumper and the bears off your tail. We'll catch ya on the flip flop, we gone, BYE BYE. (C.W. McCall... "Convoy")


GIT-R-DONE!!!

Larry the Cable Guy


































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