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Cinematical's 25 Lamest of 2008!

www.cinematical.com - 29th Dec 2008

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George Lucas: What good would a 25 Hottest of 2008 list be without a 25 Lamest of 2008 list to complement it? That's right, in addition to scouring all the year's news for what was hot, we did the same for what was not ... hot. What irritated us to no end? Who had a horrible year at the movies? What person, place or thing would we happily ship off to a galaxy far, far away? Chipping it to help dissect 2008 were Cinematical's Erik Davis, Scott Weinberg, Eric D. Snider, Monika Bartyzel, Jessica Barnes, Eugine Novikov, William Goss, Jette Kernion and Peter Martin. In a year that saw George Lucas take a fan beating, Harry Potter get pushed around and M. Night Shyamalan attempt an R-rating, who (or what) would go down as the lamest of 2008? Click through the gallery below to find out ... The 25 Lamest Things in Movies 25. The New 'At the Movies'In an effort to revitalize the former 'Siskel & Ebert' show, producers managed to cast the two dolts that would make anyone miss Richard Roeper. And you know what? I don't even want to stick it to Ben Mankiewicz nearly as much as critical void and star-sucker extraordinaire Ben Lyons. I Am Legend is one of the greatest movies ever made? You love women, but not The Women? Yeesh. It's guys like you that give guys like me a bad name. -- WG Getty Images 24. Pushing 'Harry Potter' to 2009All the online petitions in the world aren't going to rescue everyone's favorite boy wizard from being banished to Warner Brothers' tentpole-lacking 2009 summer (thanks, writer's strike). Me? I just wish Harry had been around to wave his wand on all the fans who would go out to shell it out for Twilight in its stead. -- WG Warner Bros. 23. Far-From-Funny FellatioThe saying goes that great minds think alike, but I'm afraid that those minds may also have a monopoly on good taste, as the writers of November's Soul Men and December's Yes Man each came up with and brought to the screen identical gags (pun intended) involving oral pleasure given sans dentures to respective leads Bernie Mac and Jim Carrey. And they say modern comedy is toothless ... -- WG Warner Bros. 22. Weinstein Co. Hoarding Good MoviesHarvey Weinstein admitted over the summer that his Third Rail Releasing arm was simply for the films they didn't believe in. That's why you didn't see the decent Rogue and Eden Lake, the damn good Inside or The Promotion or the allegedly alright Death Defying Acts. And what did they see fit to give the widest releases? The pitiful likes of Diary of the Dead and Hell Ride. Talk about picking all the wrong battles. -- WG Weinstein Co. 21. Tyler PerryTyler Perry is the Uwe Boll of uplifting relationship dramedies, tacking on yet another duo of poorly-reviewed movies in 2008 (Meet the Browns, The Family That Preys) to a resume full of one waste of time after another. Will the cross-dressing Madea character continue to bail him out, or will Hollywood squash his rotten stench once and for all? -- ED Lionsgate 20. Uwe BollLike a hyperactive child, Dr. Boll only makes loud noises when people are giving him attention. So let's stop. If his movies were half as entertaining as Boll's non-sensical ravings, Boll would be the next Joe Dante. But they're not. And he's not. -- SW Freestyle 19. Iraq MoviesHollywood keeps cranking out movies stemmed from the current conflict in Iraq -- both good (Stop-Loss) and pretty bad (The Lucky Ones) -- and audiences keep on ignoring them (Stop-Loss' domestic gross: $10m, The Lucky Ones: $267k). War, huh, good God, y'all. What is it good for? Not box office receipts, that's for sure. -- WG Paramount 18. Diane Lane & Richard Gere, Together AgainAfter being Unfaithful in 2002, Diane Lane and Richard Gere got especially faithful on each other's ass during a North Carolina hurricane. But of course, this being a Nicholas Sparks deal, one of them has something to atone for, one of them is going to bite it, and horses are going to run wild and majestic on the beach regardless of which tears fate decides to jerk. -- WG Warner Bros. 17. 'Australia'I hate to say it, but Baz Luhrmann got greedy. Australia should have been a slam dunk; Jackman at his roguish and shirtless best, Kidman doing her adorably uptight routine, and one of the most inventive directors working today at the wheel. But, Mr. Luhrmann just couldn't help himself, and rather than keep it light, he just had to go for Oscar gold and ruin all the outback fun. Crikey. -- JB 20th Century Fox 16. 'The Spirit'When Robert Rodriguez runs with Frank Miller's work, it's awesome. When Zack Snyder runs with Frank Miller's work, it's pretty cool. When Frank Miller runs with Will Eisner's work -- well, it's just downright embarrassing. Samuel L. Jackson alone seems to realize just how ridiculous this comic book adaptation was once when they handed Miller the reins, and he alone makes The Spirit the most fascinating trainwreck in ages. Seriously, folks: this thing is so over-the-top, it practically orbits the moon. -- WG Lionsgate

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