6 Awful Celebrity Couples
Celebrifi - 14th Aug 2008
Vivica A. Fox: Celebrities are weird, weird individuals... all that money and attention tends to seep in deep and guck up the way they think. With that as it is, it's really better for all of us if they just continue primarily dating each other, rather than picking up civilians. The problem is there is a finite number of celebrities out there, so in the process of finding someone to marry and spend 2-3 years with, things often go wrong. Here's 6 celeb couples we think (or thought) were just completely awful and doomed to failure.
6. Vivica Fox and David CarusoWTF?? The only thing we can come up with here is that after taping the season finale of Curb Your Enthusiasm last year, in which her character marries Larry
David,
Vivica got it into her head that she could date just about anybody. Theory #2 would be that after having her
heart broken by 50 Cent, she went for a guy as far away from him as she possibly could - let's see - 50 Cent, gangster rapper, big black dude went wrong --- ah yes - nearly translucent redhead white man - let's see how that goes. Word is they were
caught snuggling at a lunch last week, during which
Caruso described how much he liked "hip hop music" - this has got to end.
5. Justin Long and Drew BarrymoreWe can actually take either side on this one. On the one hand,
Drew Barrymore is hot. Outrageously hot, really. Charlie Angel hot. And a huge star.
Justin Long has to fight to keep his commercial gig playing a computer, and pays the rent with animal house knock offs for the new generation. Sound like it will work? How about his side of things?
Drew Barrymore is fricking crazy. She was driving around high on coke at age 10... literally. She's been through about a hundred relationships since then - so probably not so stable. Predictably, this crashed and burned.
4. Angie Everhart & Joe PesciOk can someone please explain to me just exactly what the f%^% is going on here? In what world do these people date? What we think happened-- You know those ads in the back of some magazines for male pheromones that make you irresistible to women? (Note to women: playboy, maxim and all other male oriented magazines carry these advertisements for male pheromones that make you irresistible to women.) You do? Ok good. Well maybe they are not so full of it after all. And maybe, Joe Pesci can
afford to buy enough of those tiny bottles to bathe in, and he did - until recently - when he ran out. At that point,
Angie went back to her
billionaire royal ex-boyfriend , as well as her high prestige career as the perennial favorite in the lingerie bowl.
3. Brian Austin Green & Megan FoxYou think we're going to make fun of
Brian Austin Green, don't you? For example, we could say that in Australia, they just got 90210, so when
Megan Fox got to America and saw
Brian Austin Green outside a club, she assumed he was about to go inside, not begging for change. Or we could bring up that even on that show, his only hit, they made him marry ugly Donna.
But we're not. Instead, we suggest you go over and read a few of
Megan Fox's blog entries, (say
this one)which should give you a good idea of what it would be like to date and spend all of your time with her. We suggest locking up the firearms before doing this. I think there's a reason she is now rumored to be dating
a Goth Singer and a
Suicidal Finnish Band Leader - they're both depressed and masochistic.
1. DOUBLE/TIE Paris Hilton & Joel Madden and Nicole Ritchie and Benji MaddenHoly sh#$#! Can you imagine if you were their mom or dad, and for the rest of your life every f&^%&ing family event is an episode of "The Simple Life"? This is just too awful to bear, or really, to spend too much time thinking about. Being in this family would be depressing enough to consider doing something drastic... depressing enough, well, probably enough to start dating
Megan Fox ; )
In This Story
Linguistic Frippery: Celebrity Cockney Rhyming Slang
Ever keen to marry the single-syllable, bite-sized world of celebrity gossip tabloids with the Shakespearean ideal of cunning linguistic wordplay, we decided to compile a compilation of completely cock-eyed and cleverly contemplated Cockney rhyming slang, as it relates to celebrities.
Cockney rhyming slang, I hear you say? What might that be? For the non-Brits among you, Cockney rhyming slang, as defined by our dear old friend Wikipedia, "is a form of slang in which a word is replaced by another word or
Daredevil Drew Barrymore chases driver after hit-run
Charlie better call in the other Angels.
Sassy sweetheart Drew Barrymore, star and producer of the two "Charlie's Angels" movies, was the victim of a hit-and-run collision on a West Hollywood street Monday morning.
Instead of nursing her wounds, the audacious actress flipped into crimefighting mode when the coward who rear-ended her vehicle fled.
She tailed the alleged outlaw through West Hollywood traffic Long enough to get a license plate, a spokesman at her production company, Flower Films, co
Drew Barrymore and Justin Long Getting Married
Drew Barrymore and Justin Long are secretly planning to marry in the Caribbean later this year, according to a source who overheard the couple planning the ceremony over a recent lunch date.
I think they make a cute couple but Drew’s been married twice before. I think maybe she loses interest in people or something. I don’t know.
Doesn’t Justin Long look like he’s 18 years old? Whenever I see him I picture him when he did that TV show Ed, and ever since then he’s just a teenie bopper to me.
Richie 'furious' at Hilton's baby plans
Nicole Richie is said to be furious that Paris Hilton is trying to "copy" her life.
Hilton reportedly wants to follow in her friend's footsteps by having a baby after hooking up with the brother of Richie's fiancé Joel Madden.
Joel and Benji Madden are members of rock band Good Charlotte, whom Hilton is currently accompanying on tour.
A source told Star: "Nicole was already upset when Paris started dating Benji - it all happened too fast for her liking. Then Nicole couldn't go on tour with them be
Drew Barrymore's Tongue Twister
Drew Barrymore may have stopped into the Velvet Grip tattoo parlor in Los Angeles yesterday afternoon, but she wasn't there to get inked.
Barrymore had her tongue pierced!
The star of the upcoming He's Just Not That Into You was heard explaining that she'd been wanting the standard stainless-steel barbell accessory for seven years, a source reports.
“She was really cute," says the source. "When she was filling out her release form, one of the questions was, Do you have a history of passing out? S
Drew Barrymore and Justin Long Split
Drew Barrymore and Justin Long have broken up, her rep confirms to PEOPLE.
"I can confirm the split with no additional comment," said the spokesperson.
Barrymore, 33, and Long, 30, were first linked in August of last year, when they were spotted at the Los Angeles hotspot the Chateau Marmont.
By November, the pair - who costar together in He's Just Not That Into You - were getting serious. They spent a PDA-packed holiday in Connecticut, including Thanksgiving with Long's family in his hometown of F
Motherhood gives Nicole Richie's figure a boost
Nicole Richie looked just swell as she showed off her post-baby figure at the launch of her fiance's new clothing range.
Motherhood has clearly given the 26-year-old's formerly skinny figure a boost - she looked radiant in a tight sliver dress at the launch party for DCMA Collective in Los Angeles on Friday night.
The Simple Life star was supporting fiance Joel Madden, 29, who has just launched his first clothing line with his twin brother Benji.
And keeping it all in the family, Good Charlotte s
"Distraught" Justin Withdraws From Drew's Film
Drew Barrymore apparently whipped him good.
A source tells E! News that Justin Long, who remains "distraught" over being dumped by the Charlie's Angels star, has dropped out of the roller-derby comedy Whip It!, which marks Barrymore's feature directorial debut.
"He couldn't stand working with her and not being with her," the Long insider says. "He's too upset."
Adds our source: "She dumped him. She was hot and cold. One minute she was in love with him and the next she wanted to break up with him.
Kirsten Dunst spotted kissing Justin Long
I’m constantly amazed by the seemingly random hookups between celebrities, single or otherwise attached to other people. The young celebrities seem particularly prone to in-dating, which makes sense because they’re the ones who are less likely to settle down.
Kirsten Dunst, 26, was spotted out looking bleary eyed and walking hand in hand early in the morning with Justin Long, 30, whose separation with girlfriend Drew Barrymore was just announced. It’s assumed that since Kirsten and Justin - that ha
Drew and Justin in Mexico
They are still looking happy together!
Drew Barrymore Opens Up About Justin Long
Keeping in constant character for the role of Jackie Kennedy's eccentric cousin Edie Beale in HBO's upcoming Grey Gardens, Drew Barrymore refers to her real-life boyfriend Justin Long not by his name, but by the Edie-like label of "gentleman caller."
Tracking the relationship between the actress-producer and the "Mac" in the Apple computer commercials, the March issue of Vogue, reports that the two knew each other for seven years before becoming serious.
Asked for his immediate reaction to what he t
Nicole & Joel's $2million June Wedding!
good morning! the latest STAR cover has a little tidbit on a supposed big & pricey june wedding ($2 million bucks) lasting three whole days for Nicole Richie and her baby daddy Joel Madden (i still can't believe that one of her BFFs Paris Hilton is dating Joel's twin brother Benji Madden - it's all so close knit!).
(Very Odd) New Couple Alert! Vivica Fox and David Caruso
Talk about odd couples. MediaTakeOut.com just caught wind that actress Vivica Fox is dating actor David Caruso (from the CBS hit show CSI). According to one of our spies, the two of them were sitting "close and cuddly" at a trendy Los Angeles restaurant last week.
And according to our MediaTakeOut.com spy, who was sitting within an earshot of each other, David was telling Vivica how much he likes rap music.
Anything to get in them drawers huh David....
Vivica Fox does a really weird wink
What, exactly, is Vivica Fox trying to do here? Is that a wink? Is that a grimace?
Vivica Fox speaks out about break-up with 50 cent
Vivica Fox was on The Wendy Wiliams Show and she spoke out about how she found out her relationship with 50 Cent was over.
Benji Madden Calls Paris Hilton "Wife Material"
Could Paris Hilton beat her BFF Nicole Richie down the aisle?
Maybe.
Asked on Yo on E! if he could be engaged within six months, Benji Madden replied, "I'm not gonna bet against you on that. We'll see. I'm very, very happy right now."
The rocker, 29, added that "nothing would make me happier" than spending the rest of his life with the heiress, 27.
Madden said he's always known the "real Paris.
"I always knew that she was, like, wife material, or serious girlfriend material," Madden said.
Drew Barrymore and Justin Long very much in love
Drew Barrymore and her Mac boy love, Justin Long, gave the paps a little kissy show outside of Mr. Chow last night. So sweet.
Drew Barrymore wears same dress as Rachel McAdams!
PageSix reports:
We totally love the gorgeous Gucci dress Drew Barrymore (left) wore to SoHo House's Grey Goose Pre-Oscar Party last night. Of course we loved it even more when we saw it five months ago on Rachel McAdams at the Toronto Film Festival. Luckily, Drew didn't know she was a walking fashion-don't and was able to have a blast with BF Justin Long and BFF Cameron Diaz.
Oh, Brother
Paris Hilton's stupid ideas just got stupider.
The heirhead, who is dating Good Charlotte rocker Benji Madden, now wants to have a double wedding with best friend Nicole Richie, who is engaged to Madden's brother Joel.
Hilton, who is not even engaged to Benji, said she wants to do it in order to sell the pictures from the wedding and thinks she could rake in millions, said one pal. "She's doing it all for attention, as usual," said the friend. "It's a publicity stunt, just like everything else."
Megan Fox and Brian Green...SplitsVille
Megan Fox called off her engagement with Brian Austin Green because she thinks is too young for settle down. Megan Fox, 22, is said ended her four-year relationship with former 'Beverly Hills 90210' star Brian Austin Green, 34, because she feels too young to marry him.
DREW BARRYMORE'S OUT OF CONTROL BOOZY BREAKUP
The ENQUIRER exclusively reveals how Drew Barrymore’s out-of-control boozing destroyed her romance with Justin “I’m a Mac” Long.
Until recently, Barrymore and Long had planned to wed – that is until booze resumed its hold on the former child star.
“Justin got tired of having to help Drew to the car at the end of the night,” an insider told The ENQUIRER.
“He felt that Drew’s ‘work hard, play hard’ attitude was more than he could take.”
Drew – who began using drugs and
Megan Fox Spotted at an airport with Lord Toph
Since the break up of Megan Fox and Brian Green, it seems Megan is making her rounds, but she seems to really be getting around with Lord Toph.
The hot new couple is everywhere, showhype, teamsugar, theinsider, celebutopia, Megan-Fox.net,
Rumor has it that they got together before the "Official" Break Up between Megan Fox and Brian Green. I have seen images of Megan Fox with Brian's son, but I am sure it is because she loves that little boy, her and Brian had a 4 year engagement, she is like a mother to
Megan Fox and Lord Toph Rumors
According to my research I found That Lord Toph has come out with a new song called LOVE AND SHADOWS,(and a new video still to be released?) and apparently this song is to be on the Sound Track for Jennifer's Body. ( He is not so unknown, I didn't hear about Megan Fox until well after Transformers, and never even saw her name on the DVD case for the movie) So I am sure that Megan and Lord Toph are friends, whether in personal life or strictly business, and maybe they were seen together ( I don't know) and
Nicole Richie: All About Harlow
"Extra" was invited behind the scenes for a sneak peek of Nicole Richie and family posing for the June issue of Harper's Bazaar. With the issue hitting newsstands May 20th, and Mother's Day right around the corner, "Extra's" co-host Dayna Devon sits down with Richie to talk family and motherhood.
Baby Harlow was at the center of the glamorous shoot, which took place at grandpa Lionel Richie's estate in Beverly Hills. Richie declared, "Everything I do is for her [Harlow]. My whole life revolves around her
